Picture of The Adventures of Cledwyn

The Adventures of Cledwyn

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The English are invading 13th century Wales. Cledwyn is Welsh, but lives in a town that was taken over by the English. His family has been converted from Catholicism (the primary religion of Wales) to an early form of Protestantism; he is forced to fight against his own countrymen because of this.

An exiting tale of Medieval warfare; castles, knights, dragons, and hidden treasure.

Written with some Old English spelling and wording.

Product Specifications
Word Count 12,821
File Format Book will be delivered as a PDF download.
Current rating is 3.80. Total votes 5.
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Product reviews
Great!
I love that your writing is historical and I liked the usage of Old English. It must have taken longer to make it flow so well, but it was well worth it! There were a few typo's, but nothing that can't be cleaned up. If you read it over aloud, you'll be able to find them easily (I'm sorry I can't point them out, but I'm running out of time). Keep writing! I love your work!

From: | Created on: 8/24/2012 5:12:37 PM

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Great Plot!
The plot of the story was well thought out and the language you used worked well. You did, however, have some typos, such as "amour" instead or "armour" and at one point, you left out the end quotation mark. For the chapter headings, "Chapter the First" is how I have seen it done, or simply, "Chapter One". The first goes with the writing style better though. There was some confused punctuation and there was a spot where you started many of your sentences with "then". I recommend replacing some of the "then"s with "after that", "next", etc. every once and a while so it doesn't become too repetitive. Also, I really like the different font and larger size you used for the first letter of some paragraphs. You should, however, be more consistent in your use of it. Most books I've read that do that only do it for the first letter of the first paragraph of the chaper. You could even do it every paragraph, but consistency is really what's needed. Another thing you could add to the story is a pronunciation guide. I wasn't sure how to pronounce some of the names and places, so having a pronunciation guide at the back of the story would be helpful and interesting. Overall, I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading your other works!

From: Melody Guthrie | Created on: 7/14/2012 9:20:05 PM

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Midevil Style of Writing
Unfortunately, I am one of those who do not care for this style of writing and lost interest quickly.  Am looking forward to some of your other works.

From: Yvonne M Remington | Created on: 5/6/2012 9:33:26 AM

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entertaining tale
I enjoyed the story, especially the medieval writing style - just a few suggestions
*Towards the beginning, the shifting between describing the battle in general and Cledwyn's story is awkward and abrupt sometimes.
*I'm unsure of what the "10 Milion Dragons" subtitle refers to - I think that legend was only mentioned in passing towards the end.
*Grammar-wise, you often use commas where there should be a semicolon or a period.  
*The slaying of the dragon isn't given enough emphasis or description considering it is the climactic event of the entire narrative.

From: Natalie Pilgeram | Created on: 1/20/2012 9:56:06 PM

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a couple errors
Catholicism is capitalized, and as it is a Christian religion - a form of Christianity - it would be more correct (and less prone to offend Catholics :) to say he converted to Protestantism or Anglicanism, or whatever specific Christian sect it is you mean.
Love the format and archaic language though

From: Natalie Pilgeram | Created on: 1/17/2012 12:44:27 AM

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