Thanks!
Thank you so much for not only reading it but taking time to review it and give ideas! This was one of my first short stories so I LOVE feed back!
If you are interested, you can learn more about my writing here. http://missjacklewisbaillot.blogspot.com/
Once more thank you soooo much!
From:
Miss Jack Lewis Baillot
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Created on:
4/1/2012 12:27:06 AM
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Nice work!
This story is well written! I could believe that a soldier would become hardened by the friends he saw die, and withdraw from suffering another loss! I can also believe a friendship is possible between a jaded young man, and a jaded older one. I'd like to believe that someone wouldn't be killed, two weeks after reporting smuggling and slavery, but unfortunately, that, too is believable. This story is set in a different era, also, isn't it? After Vietnam? Maybe Korea or WWII, although Vietnam is the one that stands out for the insult "Baby Killers." (At least to me, perhaps it was an old insult re-invented?) In any case, the only possible way to make it better, might be to tell more why the young man was jaded, or to give more detail of the town or the era. But, that is just my opinion! Please, don't let anything I say discourage you at all, I found your story well done! (And I can't believe I am the first to rate it!!!)
From:
Spring Free
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Created on:
3/31/2012 7:47:43 PM
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