Sometimes SEX is not enough!
This story is well written, but I would have liked to know what happened to the couples, and the other characters. It was a little predictable, too that "Damien" was the hired assassin. There was no information on how they found the key, nor how the characters wound down to only the two girls and the two men. If Vega's father had not "survived" Death, was this Death the same character, this Damien, or some other assassin? I was honestly half expecting one of the girls to be this "Death" character, too. A little more about what each of them might be thinking, and how the events happened, and not so much the gratuitous sex scenes might have been better. You are a good writer, but unless you intend to write pornography, it needs a little work.
From:
Spring Free
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Created on:
3/31/2012 9:03:34 PM
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