It gets tricky, when you say your characters are Gods, because Gods are immortal, that is what sets them apart from mortals (humans). You have some very relevant typos, wrong word forms and such, it does take away from the smoothness of your story. Whatever planet they are from, whatever language they use, if they have a "Sun," then they would understand a "Sunset." You want to make sure you eliminate inconsistencies from your story, so it doesn't make your reader question whether or not what you are saying could actually happen. But, don't let me discourage you, many of these are small "technical details," that you could easily work out. It's a good idea to print it out, wait a few days, and then read it, like it's someone else's work, often that will help you catch "the little things!" Good luck to you!
3/31/2012 11:04:41 PM
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