Nice Phrasing!
I liked the way you phrased some of your words in this story! But, I did have a few moments of "disbelief." I don't understand why this young man would rape a girl he was trying to convince he meant no harm. Somehow, that's not a convincing argument! I think it would be positively Poe-like, if you had went into the young man's mind as he waited to get caught, as he felt the guilt for what he had done, and such. I am not convinced that having murdered someone, your sex drive could ever recover! That was "shades of psychological mayhem" for me. I could believe this character would be writing a "confession," I am imagining planning on his suicide, or something. I do wonder, why you don't mention that the girl would be "missing," or that police would be doing an investigation. Anyway, I like your writing style, and I encourage you not to let anything I have said discourage you!
From:
Spring Free
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Created on:
4/1/2012 9:48:32 PM
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