This is interesting. The only thing I could say, right off hand, is in the beginning, when your main character says "luckily I don't have to work," I took that to mean she didn't have to work at all. Maybe, "today," would clear that up. The only other "flaw" in it, would be, why can't Amy get bonded out? I don't know, but I don't think you'd be unable to be bonded out, and I wouldn't want to sit in jail, especially under those circumstances. I mean, I find it hard to believe she'd be arrested and thrown in jail, having been raped! Anyway, the fight scenes hurt to read, that character needs to be a female wrestler, or something! Nice work! Oh, and maybe your main character fights because she has a "no-where" job?
4/1/2012 10:20:42 PM
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