This story is noticeably unfinished, although fairly well written. It might have been better to kind of make the journey to Texas a short story that becomes a first chapter, then, maybe so much wouldn't have been left unwound. Many of your descriptions are good, and it's interesting, but there is no "real" catch, other than to wonder what happens next. There are a few typos, which you'd want to correct, because the story is a good one, and you don't want something minor to take away from it. I like it, I just wonder if it might have been better, had it not felt so "cut off."
4/3/2012 3:03:55 PM
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