This story could be a piece of reality, lately, and I think that disturbs me more than anything. There were a few flow problems in it, and it does sort of feel incomplete, but it has an interesting premise. I did enjoy some of the descriptions, even if at points I wasn't convinced of it's authenticity. I mean to say, I am not sure police could be rushed like that, and someone lifted out of their custody, and the "attack" seems almost jumbled somehow. I would encourage the author to continue developing it, though, I think it has promise. Perhaps some parallels between the recent park protests would help to smooth out the rough edges.
3/28/2012 6:09:42 PM
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