My Mistake For Reading: Sorry My Mistake
Ms. Miss. or Mr. B.R.
I don't know if you are male or female, hence the salutation.
This is the worst story you have yet written. Grammatically, it is terrible. It is confusing and difficult to follow.
You began on page one with a time date stamp, and again on page three, but none thereafter. Confusing.
Several pages recorded the name Rose Thorne. Confusing.
I couln't figure out who the characters are--a Major, a CID agent, a doctor, someone named Alex, and someone named Alexis.
On page four, you record two identical paragraphs beginning with "You are not going to make it to work...."
I have read some of your other works, and I know you can do better than this.
Sorry for such a negative review, but this short story indicates you are perhaps getting a little lazy, and certainly sloppy.
12/9/2011 4:48:46 PM
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