What happened?
I liked this story, but I have to ask, what happened? What happened to the man who would kill someone who hurt you and make him become someone whose gun you feared? Was it an illness, some tragedy, a series of unfortunate events, the loss of someone he loved, tell your readers! Where is your brilliant brother on this night you slept with one eye open? You also need to watch, your apostrophes were quotation marks and such, and it made for an unnecessary distraction. You should mention to your readers, and it does happen, that if that wind you were leaning into decided to stop, you would plummet to your death! Also, watch the overuse of the term "friend," maybe best buddy, or casual acquaintance, or pal, would relay the idea of comfortable friendliness to contrast with the stark cold of the night, without becoming too much of an echo. Don't give up! I like the story! Best of Luck to ya!
From:
Spring Free
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Created on:
3/28/2012 9:09:04 PM
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