Personal Demons
I will be honest. I read your story not because of the description, but because of the title. There was once a girl named Tabitha in my life. I thought of her as I read your story. I loved your story. An unlikely hero completely transforms your story. I love it. As far as mechanics go, I don't believe, as another reviewer did, that your story needs editing. I do think that it needs transitions between time periods. All in all, excellent work!
From:
Jeanne Newton
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Created on:
2/19/2012 12:51:21 AM
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Tabitha
Hi, read your story. It has an interesting ending, but it seemed to take a long time to get there. Your story has several mispellings and a grammar error or two, you need to spend more time rewriting, rewriting, rewriting, and making sure that your sentences are necessary, clear, concise. The story could use a good deal of editing. The leaner, more muscular the sentences, the stronger your story will be. Thanks for sharing it with me, I hope this review helps!
Cheers! Keep writing! And have a look at some of my stories again.
Best regards,
Laine Scheliga
From:
Laine Scheliga
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Created on:
10/26/2011 7:22:58 PM
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