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Word Count 1000
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Product reviews
A Romantic Dinner
Mr. Hand, you are a good story teller, and have a flair for dialogue. A strong foundation for a writer. Also, you have interesting plot ideas. I think this is why I've gone from one of your stories to the next; to see what you would do next. Again, the main limitation is the technical aspects of writing. This can work itself out over time if you focus a bit on this part of it. I've edited your last paragraph. It's easier to show then tell (note the paragraph breaks and added commas):

“We received a call about a possible domestic dispute. Mind if we come in to make sure everything’s alright?” Charles said in an authoritative voice, suggesting he wouldn’t take 'no' for an answer.

Miles smiled and opened the door all the way, moving his back towards the inner wall, so they couldn’t see his gun. “Sure officers come on in, I’ve got nothing to hide. Actually, we were just having dinner. Smells good, doesn’t it?” he said festively.

Charles passed by Miles first. As soon as Linda was at his side, Miles grabbed Linda around her neck, pulled his .45, and shot Charles in the back of the head. Linda struggled but was busy grabbing at the arm strangling her to prevent Miles from putting the gun to her temple and pulling the trigger.

From: Robert G. Moons | Created on: 7/11/2013 2:14:46 PM

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Nice
I thought the story was very nice but not very original but it stuck to the dinner theme and it was well written so good job

From: Ginny Mialma | Created on: 3/3/2013 6:07:08 PM

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hmm..
I get this story and it's genesis.
But this type of episoidal-, action-, time-   -driven piece is probably one of the hardest to write well. And certainly THE MOST difficult to write well in a small space (1000-words). ROMANTIC is not written well.

It's difficult to critique and pick the prose apart because the tale's
"center" / sweet-spot is so skewed.

If you "believe" in this little tale, I would deconstruct it-- were I you, and write it from one of the victim's point-a-view. This will help to fucus the narrative towards it's (fast-coming (1000-words remember)) end..instead of the action coming from "all over the place" in a sense. Notice that at the end there is no END!
More: what happened, happened and oh yeah..the end.
That is not story telling.

That said, what IS here has the makings of a nice little slash tale.
It just needs proper (creative) sinking.

-gg
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From: gg raymond | Created on: 3/1/2013 7:36:49 PM

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Family dinners are fun
Nicely written and the kind of family dinner I love to read about. But the story  line was kind of predictable.

It lacked any suspense and reached the obvious conclusion rather than something that would catch the reader by surprise.

Good effort and great use of the theme

From: Michael Cannata | Created on: 2/25/2013 8:06:53 PM

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Romance?
It has a distinctly brutal and definitely detached tone, but very little motivation.  He didn’t seem to be driven by love . . . even psychopathic killers should have a quality that makes them unique.

From: Michelle Kidd | Created on: 2/25/2013 5:11:10 PM

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Not so romantic
I know you were going for the shock value, I just think it went a little too far. The suspense wasn't there for me. A little too much bllod and sensless killing, but I thought the concept was good.

From: Jack Ivey | Created on: 2/25/2013 1:27:04 PM

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Brutal
I may have missed the point but the story just seemed like brutality for brutality's sake. I didn't see a higher concept or meaning to it, so it was hard for me to get into the story.
A technical note on the writing, at times you use words that could be eliminated without changing the meaning. For example:
"Miles closed the door and went back to finish having the last dinner he and the rest of his family would ever enjoy together again."
could be
"Miles closed the door and went back to finish the last dinner he and his family would ever enjoy."
The same meaning in less words tightens up the language and can make the sentence have more impact.

From: Joe Niewierski — AuthorStand Founder | Created on: 2/25/2013 12:13:25 PM

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A Romantic Dinner
Well, that's the kind of romance I could do without! Great telling in this story. You had me gripped with the bloody knife and gun!

From: Laura MacLean | Created on: 2/25/2013 9:31:46 AM

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Say It's Not So
I couldn't believe that you captivated me by your beautiful picture and I was ready for a romance story, then I got to the knife and the 45 on the table. Say it's not so, say it's not what I think it is, well it was, it was a crazy story.

Written well and the beginning drew me in.

From: Colette Butler | Created on: 2/24/2013 9:33:28 PM

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Romantic Dinner
Well written but dark this certainly is a tense dinner situation.

From: Lady Toni | Created on: 2/23/2013 10:10:13 PM

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A Romantic Dinner
After reading this, I think I'll skip the romantic dinners! Very nice, good job at turning up the tension!

From: Greg Meritt | Created on: 2/23/2013 7:34:59 PM

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A Romantic Dinner
Good story. Tragic and disturbing. It was a well written piece of work.

From: Rita Rhymer | Created on: 2/23/2013 4:46:45 PM

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Very nice
I enjoyed this story, it was intense and well written.

From: Carolyn Kirschner | Created on: 2/23/2013 3:49:20 PM

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A Romantic Dinner
While not very romantic, but still a really good story. Intense, suspenseful, and entertaining. Nice job!

From: Zach Heher | Created on: 2/23/2013 3:06:54 PM

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A Romantic Dinner
I'm not a big fan of this type of story -- crazed ex kills family -- but from a technical point it seemed well done and did not see any obvious errors.

From: James Hold | Created on: 2/23/2013 2:44:54 PM

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Romantic Dinner
I'm biased to the negative side these days with fictional stories that unfortunately mirror all to often true events.  You might want to increase the type size a bit.

From: Albert Abanes | Created on: 2/23/2013 1:02:30 PM

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A ROMANTIC DINNER
I especially liked the phrase, "...and slid the .45 into the back of his pants after chambering a round."  That was really cool.

From: D. Wayne Moore | Created on: 2/23/2013 8:52:26 AM

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Great title page and picture.
A sad satire of a marrage gone wrong. Rather a common theme in many crime shows, so it lacks in the originality dept. Well penned and exicuted. Pardon the pun.

From: Valormore De Plume | Created on: 2/23/2013 7:55:28 AM

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Not so romantic anniversary
Well written, interesting story. I enjoyed it.

From: Jessica Rushing | Created on: 2/22/2013 11:52:31 PM

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A romantic dinner
Pitch-perfect suspense with a keen eye for just the right amount of 'disturbing';  Well done!

From: Russell Giles | Created on: 2/22/2013 9:23:18 PM

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Wow!!
I've got to say this story had me on edge.  Well written and captivating.  :-)

From: Virginia Simpson | Created on: 2/22/2013 5:46:29 PM

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