Dinner for Who?
Not the usual Michael story, and, like Joe and Jack, I was on to you early on. But I liked "the closest thing to a murder weapon was often the food on the menu," and the fact that he used it to kill his wife.
From:
Trevor Snyman
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Created on:
3/18/2013 10:17:56 AM
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Ha thats called karma
I thought this was a good story and how his plan totally back fired and it was his wife that got that bad lobster but I felt that it was a bit random for someone to decide to kill someone just for the heck of it without any psychotic background or anything but good story was good all in all.
From:
Ginny Mialma
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Created on:
3/3/2013 6:17:51 PM
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A twist was expected ...
... but it was good. I though you might have him being given lobster, so that he would refuse to eat it, then maybe someone else eating lobster would have a real reaction, and he would assume the that guy got the tainted lobster, then begin eating his last supper. Please read my "In the Park" and "Let's Act Normal", and let me know what you think.
From:
Derryl Berry
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Created on:
3/2/2013 2:51:14 PM
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Cool, no?
I'm a mystery fan so I got into this form easily.
I don't care what anyone is telling you what they think is wrong here. I think everything goes RIGHT.
And, just like I am in a movie theatre, sitting passively as a spectator letting ANY kind of scenario wash over me--to me, that's what someone else's story is FOR--I loved the way you dealt the cards.
Dead wife. Cool, no?
Yes!
Thanks for posting.
Heather
wordwan
From:
Heather Lovatt
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Created on:
2/28/2013 9:53:51 PM
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Great Character
SPOILER***
The concept of the story was good, though I'm with Jack in that I knew where it was going once he said they both ordered chicken. What really made it work for me was the main character. At the end I was waiting for him to be distraught about the outcome and was happy when he acted appropriately cold. He'd have preferred a different outcome but as long as he gets away with it he's cool.
Can't say I like the guy, but I do like how he's written.
From:
Joe Niewierski — AuthorStand Founder
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Created on:
2/27/2013 9:27:09 AM
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Dinner for who?
Very well done. This idea was fantastic. Well written and expertly crafted. The only problem I had was...being a Michael Cannata fan...t was predictable to me early on. I knew he would somehow end up doing...well I'll leave it at that.
From:
Jack Ivey
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Created on:
2/25/2013 3:16:47 PM
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good idea, wrong execution
I liked the tone here, but the story is not so well written.
Even in a 1000-words it still seemed over-wrought..under-whelming.
This reads a little like a tutorial as opposed to "a story".
Perhaps try experimenting with telling stories from other angles.
For, stories in the first person while in practice are EASIER to write are typically far more difficult to make interesting and keep "in the pocket" (in the narrative parameters). So: okay tail...weak delivery.
Thanks for writing, DINNER FOR WHO.
-gg
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:
gg raymond
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Created on:
2/25/2013 12:21:01 PM
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Dinner For Who?
The telling of this story is excellent and the ending was a surprise.
From:
Laura MacLean
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Created on:
2/25/2013 10:01:26 AM
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Good Job
Excellent story as usual. I loved the twist and the writing was great.
From:
Jessica Rushing
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Created on:
2/24/2013 10:53:35 PM
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Pondering
I'm wondering what type of thoughts my doctor has. I bet the doctor planned the entire screw up as well because he wanted to get rid of her.
From:
Colette Butler
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Created on:
2/24/2013 9:43:11 PM
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Dinner For Who?
O.K., I'm with the others. Perfect storytelling and great writing. What an unfortunate turn of events. Hopefully the good doctor learned his lesson.
From:
Greg Meritt
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Created on:
2/24/2013 7:48:38 PM
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Dinner For Who
When a story is written as well as yours there is nothing to criticize. It has all the basic elements of a fictional story, and flows very well from point to point.
From:
Albert Abanes
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Created on:
2/24/2013 9:54:57 AM
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Dinner for Who?
Another WOW story and what a way to add excitement to a murder myster dinner. Well written story, very enjoyable
From:
Lady Toni
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Created on:
2/23/2013 10:54:15 PM
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Oh, this time it is not the butler
I like it. Captured my reading flow until the end where instead of revealing the murderer, the victim is revealed. What a twist! Characters motive and development are realistic and believable.
From:
The Roguish Fairy
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Created on:
2/23/2013 7:24:18 PM
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Cleaver
I love a good murder mystery!
From:
Carolyn Kirschner
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Created on:
2/23/2013 3:55:31 PM
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I think we have a winner
You always have a taste of creating a great murder story. Great suspense and drama. Great work!
From:
Zach Heher
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Created on:
2/23/2013 3:39:55 PM
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Dinner For Who?
Great irony.
From:
James Hold
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Created on:
2/23/2013 2:50:20 PM
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Dinner..
This was vintage Michael, deliberate, methodical, and never a disappointment. Good work.
From:
D. Wayne Moore
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Created on:
2/23/2013 10:05:01 AM
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Good work Michael
I would have liked it better if I could have found a reason to knock the story down to a four star rating.
From:
Valormore De Plume
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Created on:
2/23/2013 8:12:25 AM
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Dinner for Who
Ah . . . I liked this one. You put much thought and planning into this (so that was what you were doing during that blizzard!) This is well written and not the normal slasher fare. Well done, Michael!
From:
Michelle Kidd
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Created on:
2/22/2013 11:21:41 PM
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NICE!
After I first submitted my story I was like...OH YEAH!..I got this one in the bag!....Then I read a story like this and I'm like...CRAP!!!....Another story better then mine!!!!!! LOL.....I loved the murder mystery dinner setting.......Great story man! Had me hocked the whole time!
From:
Nicholas Hand
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Created on:
2/22/2013 11:05:35 PM
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Dinner for who?
Looks like the good doctor forgot the about whole 'first do no harm' thing!
Very well written.
From:
Russell Giles
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Created on:
2/22/2013 9:52:27 PM
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Dinner for Who?
Very clever story and very well written. It had an edge of suspense, and the "Oh No" factor when he saw his wife eating the lobster. Great job!
From:
Rita Rhymer
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Created on:
2/22/2013 9:31:58 PM
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Mystery
What a twist!!!!! Great job!!! I'm speechless after that.. lol :-)
From:
Virginia Simpson
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Created on:
2/22/2013 5:53:23 PM
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Dinner For Who?
Oh My Goodness Michael, You are a SNEEKY little DEVIL! :):):) This was so good. And very well thought out. Very well written too. The surprise twist is really cleaver!! :):) Very Very well done!! I wish you Good Luck in this contest!!:)
From:
Linda Pickens Phalen
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Created on:
2/22/2013 5:29:02 PM
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