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Dinner at Gloria's

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At the insistence of his sister, Rusty Anderson agrees to a blind date. But this is one dinner he won't soon forget.

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Word Count 998
File Format Book will be delivered as a PDF download.
 
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Product reviews
The woman's nuts ... really
I liked it, Greg.  Nice twist at the end.  May I suggest that the revelation come from the spoken words of the newscaster?  "Earlier today, a patient of Western State mental hospital, was able to breach security and left on her on accord.  Venessa Cray ..."

I would also suggest that the first four paragraphs of the story could be combined into one.

This story gave me an idea for one of my own.  I look forward to reading more of your work.

From: Derryl Berry | Created on: 3/8/2013 12:00:14 PM

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Dinner at Gloria's
Very fun and warm, like the plot and writing style.
Good job

From: Kathrine Jones | Created on: 3/5/2013 8:44:29 AM

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Fun
I thought this was kind if average at first, the girl was very rude and it was funny but it didn't seem like anything special however by the end I laughed out loud. Good job.

From: Ginny Mialma | Created on: 2/27/2013 5:22:44 PM

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nice...
good story, averge telling.
i'm tempted to rate this a three..but go with a four because
most of my "reservations" are personal taste--not the writing.

So to be constructive:

This tale channelled all the way through.
Not the details of the debaucle, but a debaucle. It would have helped to begin in the center of the tale--with characters seated at dinner table--and then the story unravels inside-out. Sort of in a center-out way. This is one technique to help hide obvious denouements in small spaces (1000-words max).

But again, that is a personal/artistic-peeve that requires heightened skills from the writer..tough to manage/control.

So, all said--a good "dinner".

-gg.
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From: gg raymond | Created on: 2/27/2013 10:08:55 AM

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Dinner at Gloria's
Blind dates; we've all been there!  Usually not quite as intense as this one, but sometimes!  

The dialogue flowed perfectly and I found the twist a genuine surprise.  I do have to echo the Russell-Rusty thing.  After all, Russell is an exceptional name and should always be used with utmost care!  ; )  

Very enjoyable story, all in all!

From: Russell Giles | Created on: 2/26/2013 1:13:27 AM

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Listen to your big head!
As usual, a well written story with great use of dialog. For me the jig was up after they first exchanged names. The thrill was gone after that.

Still, It was nice to see a guy smart enough to keep his big head about him when someone was talking to his little head.

From: Michael Cannata | Created on: 2/25/2013 8:19:51 PM

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Slightly disappointed
Greg, I was slightly disappointed in this story from you, but only because I have read so many wonderful stories by you and this did not meet my expectations. I do however think it is very well written and the idea was good, something was just missing for me. I am still giving you 4 stars because the writing was so well done and like Joe said, your dialogue was spot on.

From: Jack Ivey | Created on: 2/25/2013 1:38:33 PM

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Good Dialogue
The plot was solid but the thing that drew me in was the believable dialogue. To me, that is the thing that really makes or breaks characters and you've done a good job in this one.

From: Joe Niewierski — AuthorStand Founder | Created on: 2/25/2013 11:46:41 AM

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Dinner at Gloria's
Didn't see that ending coming. Great story and terrific turn at the end.

From: Laura MacLean | Created on: 2/25/2013 9:54:51 AM

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Gloria's
Very interesting read. I had a problem with the name changes as well, it was a little distracting. It needs a little polishing. Good concept though.

From: Jessica Rushing | Created on: 2/24/2013 10:40:31 PM

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Wow!
WOW I didn't see that coming.  Great story and the ending was anything but predictable.

From: Lady Toni | Created on: 2/23/2013 10:40:07 PM

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Gloria's
It's hard to hide the ending in some of these short stories, but you did a very good job in accomplishing this task.

From: Albert Abanes | Created on: 2/23/2013 8:24:10 PM

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Dinner at Gloria's
Very good storytelling.  The only thing I saw was you went from calling him Russell to Rusty. Fantastic job.



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From: Samule Henly | Created on: 2/23/2013 7:37:10 PM

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The first date can be nerve-wrecking.
I'm sure most of us can relate to Russell when we first went on a first date, especially if that date is some crazy person. Very well done with this story, but like everyone has pointed out a little editing here and there wouldn't hurt.

From: Zach Heher | Created on: 2/23/2013 5:05:31 PM

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Yum
Great story, could use some editing, but good read none the less

From: Carolyn Kirschner | Created on: 2/23/2013 3:54:47 PM

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Interesting story.
I'm glad you shared it, needs a little edit and polish. Other than that it held me through the end.

From: Valormore De Plume | Created on: 2/23/2013 11:07:04 AM

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Dinner
Hmm...a hunting trip on the second date could be very interesting.

From: William Barrett | Created on: 2/23/2013 10:20:56 AM

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Dinner...
Well, I don't think she was crazy at all, hot maybe, but not crazy. :)

From: D. Wayne Moore | Created on: 2/23/2013 9:54:59 AM

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Dinner at Gloria's
...Sounds like my last girlfriend...good times...good times.

A fun and entertaining story.

From: Nicholas Hand | Created on: 2/23/2013 8:30:09 AM

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~Chiller~
Just creepy . . . Don't want to give away too much, But this definitely had the chill-factor going for it!

From: Michelle Kidd | Created on: 2/22/2013 9:34:38 PM

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Dinner at Gloria's
Good story, as always. That would make anybody think twice about blind dates! As another reviewer pointed out , you did switch from Russell to Rusty quite a bit. You did a great job of describing the characters appearances and personalities. Well done!

From: Rita Rhymer | Created on: 2/22/2013 9:01:13 PM

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Gloria's
I had to catch my breath at the end.  Very good storytelling.  The only thing I saw was you went from calling him Russell to Rusty.

From: Virginia Simpson | Created on: 2/22/2013 5:32:20 PM

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Dinner At Gloria's
Good one. Reminds me how I met my first wife.  ;-)

From: James Hold | Created on: 2/22/2013 5:26:43 PM

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Dinner At Gloria's
This was really good! I enjoyed it very much. :):):) I like the way you ended it. WOW!!! It makes one wonder! I love your unique imagination. And I LOVE what you did with the cigerette!!! :):) Good job!!

From: Linda Pickens Phalen | Created on: 2/22/2013 4:27:25 PM

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