Picture of The Birthday Dinner

 Entry for Dinner Contest.  

Product Specifications
Word Count 1000
File Format Book will be delivered as a PDF download.
 
$0.00
Product reviews
The Soft Touch
Hi Michelle,

You do the soft, caring, emotional genre better than most, and this story is no different. Sadly, the story is so real in these days of uncertainty and austerity. It is well written and gentle, and does make you appreciate what you have.

I kind-of agree that the emotional feel to the story could have been greater if it had been written in the first person, but that doesn't detract at all from its excellence!

From: Trevor Snyman | Created on: 3/17/2013 9:00:09 AM

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Great story
This was a very heart warming story but I think it should have been written from first person because I would have felt more in it and less like I was watching it happen.but great story.

From: Ginny Mialma | Created on: 2/26/2013 10:40:13 PM

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Fantastic Work!
This was great, Michelle. Great writing and amazing details.

From: Zach Heher | Created on: 2/26/2013 1:52:03 PM

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Birthday dinner
A dried crust eaten with loved ones tastes sweeter than a feast enjoyed alone.  

Very sad story, yet somehow very uplifting.  A family that stays together throughout those sorts of circumstances is somehow going to make it.  Exceptionally well done!

From: Russell Giles | Created on: 2/26/2013 1:27:11 PM

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Birthday Dinner
You have a good story.  It does have good descriptive emotional content throughout with an upbeat ending.
I did have trouble following the story line.  I knew that the woman was in distress, but could not really figure why.  Then the last paragraph of page two clarified her situation.  She was a Dumpster Diver, which explained a lot of her feeling and actions.
Personally I would have put the dumpster diver aspect of her life right up front and worked from there.  She dives to live.  What is the physical and emotional process she has to go through to survive?

From: Albert Abanes | Created on: 2/26/2013 11:10:18 AM

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Great Concept
This story shows how subtlety can be better than an in-your-face approach. This didn't come in and try to beat you over the head with a message, and yet the message of the story came through brilliantly. I like that things were revealed slowly but that it wasn't just written for a 'gotcha' moment. It drew me in and the ending was perfect.

From: Joe Niewierski — AuthorStand Founder | Created on: 2/25/2013 10:44:32 PM

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The Kidd is back!
I can't help thinking how painful it must be to first look at yourself in a mirror and see a homeless person.

I didn't cry, but I was very angry. You showed me the person behind the faceless vagrant we all walk past so briskly and blindly. You use words so well when it comes to painting human portraits.

At least I was left feeling that she was homeless but not hopeless.

Another IWIWT kind of story.

From: Michael Cannata | Created on: 2/25/2013 9:13:01 PM

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In a word: WONDERFUL...
Wow, I've been up reading and reviewing DINNER entries all morning and was so under-whelmed that I thought I might take a break and go muck (clean) my horses' stalls (go clean sh*t). And then I thought: okay, I'm so behind--just one more. And then I read THE BIRTHDAY DINNER.

Ahh, wonderful !!

So, gg--why not a FIVE?
Because you made a big writing error in this beautiful, eerie little tale's telling:
you chose to write it from the 3rd person and then didn't move your narrarator far enough out of the way. The story fulls-up it's narrative-driver TOO much.

Two remedies:
1) leave it in 3rd person but pull the narrator "out" of the occurence more;
2) re-write as a first person story.

But that's just me being a "purist".
All told, the best of the DINNERs I've read so far (excluding mine, sorry). I've read it twice...really rare for me. I'll look up some of your other titles now that I've found ya'...care to suggestion one?

Thanks for writing, THE BIRTHDAY DINNER

-gg.
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From: gg raymond | Created on: 2/25/2013 2:59:38 PM

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The Birthday Dinner
Family first! Loved it

From: Carolyn Kirschner | Created on: 2/25/2013 1:05:29 PM

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The Birthday Dinner
In the end, family always matters most. Very moving story told in such a powerful way.

From: Laura MacLean | Created on: 2/25/2013 11:24:37 AM

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The Birthday...
This was a beautifully told heart-felt story about the vicissitudes of life. I particularly liked the way you disguised her rummaging through the garbage as shopping. Excellent job.

From: D. Wayne Moore | Created on: 2/25/2013 10:13:04 AM

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The Birthday Dinner
What a reminder that last line is.  Well written story with good descriptions, I liked the dialog in the story.

From: Lady Toni | Created on: 2/24/2013 12:49:56 AM

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The Birthday Dinner
Fiction can be fun and fanciful, transporting us to dreamy places that shut out the real world for a few brief moments.  Or it can plunge us into the deepest forms of depravity the human mind can imagine.  In between somewhere lies the narrative that illuminates the lives that are hidden from view, those that don’t get much attention because, human nature being what it is, make us uncomfortable.  Who wants to envision eating from a dumpster when the table is adorned with the finest settings and a five course dinner is sitting ready for feasting?

Your story illustrates all too well the harsh predicament an ever growing segment of hard working, decent Americans are inconceivably falling victim to, subjecting them to extreme measures once, not very long ago, were the stuff of their worst nightmares.  You have my vote for the unequivocal top honor of this contest.

From: William Barrett | Created on: 2/24/2013 12:39:49 AM

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Birthday Dinner
I like the last line.

From: The Roguish Fairy | Created on: 2/23/2013 8:41:33 PM

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Life on the razor's edge.
Reduced to scrounging for their next meal. Stripped of status quo. Becomming persona non grata. Living in shame. Yet the most precious joys of life are amplified, cherished and nurtured. Only one's self can dismiss the treasures that abound, or keep them sacred.
To me, this story isn't sad. the greatest treasure is love and it is front and center here.
Excelant work M.K.

From: Valormore De Plume | Created on: 2/23/2013 12:30:06 AM

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The Birthday Dinner
As always Michelle, you never disappoint. You have a way with words that draw the reader right into the story as if we are standing right there watching, listening. A sad, yet beautiful narrative wonderfully told.

From: Greg Meritt | Created on: 2/22/2013 11:25:28 PM

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The Birthday Dinner
Beautiful story and beautifully written. You captured the emotions of the characters very well. It was a sad story with a happy ending. Good job!

From: Rita Rhymer | Created on: 2/22/2013 8:49:22 PM

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The Birthday Dinner
Nice story. Sweet without being sappy.

From: James Hold | Created on: 2/22/2013 4:56:39 PM

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Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot Michelle...you always make me cry. This was a sad and heartwarming story that unfortunately is nothing to uncommon in this day and age. I can always count on your to brings tears to my eyes with your work. (A good thing) Very, very good.

From: Jack Ivey | Created on: 2/22/2013 4:03:23 PM

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Birthday
You have me near tears now.  Beautiful and touching story.  It goes to show what does really matter in life.  Well done!  (no pun intended..  lol).  :-)

From: Virginia Simpson | Created on: 2/22/2013 3:00:14 PM

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