New Member -
Posted: Sunday, February 17, 2013 12:32 PM

I/ve been reading stories, commenting on a few, and reading the forums to learn how I can improve my own writing.

I've put up my first two stories, ONE OF THOSE DAYS and OUR OWN LUCK, and would appreciate any suggestions to make them better.

I'll be happy to read and review for those who offer to help me here.

Thanks much.

Posted: Sunday, February 17, 2013 12:58 PM

 Hi Perry,

I downloaded One of those Days and will get a review up shortly.

-Roger

Posted: Sunday, February 17, 2013 4:34 PM

WELCOME to AuthorStand, Perry!!:):):) We are happy to have you here. I just read ONE OF THOSE DAYS I left a review that should be up soon. Very well written story. I enjoyed it. :)

Posted: Sunday, February 17, 2013 7:43 PM

Welcome Perry. I will read your stories as soon as I can.

Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 8:02 AM

Seth and Linda,

Thanks much for the comments on ONE OF THOSE DAYS. That helps. I see it now. I might have had a better story if I"d introduced fewer characters in 1500 words; that would have given me more room for developing those that are in the story. Maybe the same facts would have been better told with Jimmy Gale as narrator, leaving the golfers out of it.

Perry

Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 12:28 PM

Hi Perry! :):):) You made a good point. But I really did enjoy the golfers too. My father, older brother, husband and mother-in-law and father-in-law all played golf. So I kind of enjoy the sport. But to be honest I like to play what so many refer to as MINI GOLF..Lol!! :) Have a Good day!

Posted: Wednesday, February 20, 2013 3:49 PM

Just read One Of Those Days and left a review for you.

Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 11:29 PM

Seth suggested and Linda agreed that I needed character development in ONE OF THOSE DAYS, and I read  the reviews to mean that the story might have been better told by another character, one of the main characters.

I did this as an exercise in ONE OF THOSE DAYZ (notice the difference in the last letter of the last word). Is this any better?

Thanks for reading.

Posted: Tuesday, March 05, 2013 1:29 PM

Perry, I read One of Those Dayz and left a review for you. If you have any questions about my review, feel free to email me.

Posted: Tuesday, March 05, 2013 10:08 PM

Hi Perry, :):):) I just read and reviewed the Rewrite of One Of Those Dayz  Very Very GOOD!! I like this one much better than the first one. :):) Keep up the good work. Your review should be up soon, I hope! PS I like the Z inplace of the S...Good idea!! Catchy!!:)

Posted: Wednesday, March 27, 2013 9:22 PM

I've posted another - NIGHT WATCHMAN - and I would appreciate reads, ratings, and especially reviews.

This one got to be a little longer, but I couldn't help myself.

I will reciprocate on reviews of course.

Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:53 AM

Hello, my name is Star Jesus VanAllen.  I recently joined.  I can't believe a contest actually exists that provides peer & judge reviews for entries.  I just submitted Turning Heaven Upside Down, fictional humor, in the general fiction contest.  Please welcome me by posting your comments to my story.

Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 11:45 AM

Perry, I just reviewed your "Night Watchman".  Of course, my suggestions are just that, but I would you and anyone else to pick my stories apart, as time allows you, so I can improve my writing beyond correcting typos.